Broken Hearted Break Up Journal
Well, it's been two months since and there's plenty to say.. I can't even scratch the surface on the history, the heartache, desperation, and sadness that I've went through to put into one blog post. So, for post #1 I'll keep it pretty simple.
Broken Hearted Blues
First of all I'm starting this blog as a way to release the pent up feelings of emotions that I have living inside of me.. I've did about everything that you SHOULDN'T do after you have been dumped. I have sent many texts, stalked her Facebook, sent drunk (and broken hearted ) Facebook messages and basically lost all self respect and dignity. If there was the slightest chance of her coming back to me, it's gone for sure now because I realize now how needy and desperate I must have came across.. If I've learned anything men OR women don't find "desperate and needy" as an attractive trait.
I won't get deep into our history or get too detailed about "our break up" or how broken hearted I have felt in this post.. There will be plenty of time to explain the details and many more posts will be on the way.. Let's just say that I was CERTAIN that this woman was my soul mate. I just knew it with every ounce of my being.
What made this woman different? I had been married before, and been in an 8 year relationship before. I was only with this woman for 6 months yet she has scarred my heart like no woman before. She captured my heart the minute she walked through the door. I thought I had felt love before.. Never like this and heartbreak has never been this intense.
I am in my 30's so it's really hard for me to grasp that I could be so broken hearted. Haven't I already been through enough life lessons? Why do I feel like a teenager and lost my first love? I have had many relationships and none compare. Not even close....
So to save any shred of self respect I have remaining I'm hoping that keeping a journal will help keep me from texting, facebook stalking, or any other sort of unhealthy behavior. I want to move on! I'm sure that she has.. I'm sure that her life is wonderful right now. For all I know, she is in a new relationship and the world is rosey... That's where I want to get. I want to get over this broken heart. I'm really hoping this break up journal will give me the release that I need.. Hopefully when it's all said and done others who are in the same position as I am now may be able to follow along the journey of a broken heart and realize that it will get better.... I hope to come back and read this blog one day and say to myself "WOW, you felt that way to a woman who dumped you like yesterdays trash?" That's all I want.. This heartache is just killing me...
Just so tired of being broken hearted.......... :(
If anyone ever has any comments I would love you to leave them.. Even if it's harsh criticism... I probably need to hear it!
